Local Man Convinced Long Island Is “The Upside Down,” Cites "General Vibe" as Evidence

By Patty Genaro | Long Island Ledger | November 7, 2025

PATCHOGUE -- Local resident Gary Feldman, 42, became convinced this week that he has somehow slipped into the “Upside Down,” the dark, monster-ridden alternate dimension from the hit Netflix series Stranger Things. According to Feldman, “it’s the only explanation that makes any sense anymore.”

Feldman attempts his escape. Again.

“Everyone’s just so… angry,” Feldman said, squinting suspiciously at a bagel shop cashier who asked him if he wanted “salt, pepper, ketchup, or what.” “I remember a Long Island where people smiled sometimes. I mean, not often, but sometimes. Now I can’t even merge onto Sunrise Highway without someone honking and gesticulating like they’re summoning demons. I don’t know what dimension this is, but it’s not mine.”

Neighbors say Feldman began expressing his concerns late last month after noticing what he called “a thick, evil energy” at the local Stop & Shop, which turned out to be the self-checkout line not accepting cash. He reportedly left the store whispering, “the gates are thinning.”

In the days since, Feldman has been seen investigating what he believes are “portals” to the real world. These include the culvert behind his cul-de-sac, an old storm drain by the Sayville library, and a hole in his drywall that he insists “pulses when you stare at it.”

His wife, Denise Feldman, says the situation has been “mostly harmless, but also, you know, exhausting... He keeps saying he can hear ‘Vecna’s heartbeat’ coming from the basement,” she said. “That’s just the sump pump. I told him to fix it three years ago.”

Despite these reassurances, Feldman remains unconvinced. “Everything looks the same on the surface,” he told reporters, gesturing toward his split-level ranch home. “But then someone at work says, ‘Maybe we don’t need immigrants,’ and I’m like: there it is, Upside Down. Regular people don’t talk like that in the real world.”

When asked if he’s considered that society itself might simply be getting meaner, Feldman shook his head. “No, no, no. It’s too widespread. Everyone’s watching the same crazy nonsensical podcasts hosted by dummies spewing obviously incorrect absurdity. Even the seagulls at Cedar Beach are more aggressive. I dropped a French fry and one hissed at me. A bird, not the fry. I'm not crazy. They used to have dignity. The birds. Well, the fries too.”

Feldman has since taken to carrying a compass and a string of Christmas lights: his “portal detection kit”, in case he encounters what he calls “a shimmer in the fabric of space-time, or maybe a reasonably priced co-op. Equally hard to find.”

On Wednesday, police were called after Feldman attempted to “test a dimensional weak spot” by knocking down a section of drywall in the Patchogue Starbucks bathroom. Officers found him holding a hammer and muttering, “If I just get through this plaster, I’ll find 1985.”

“He wasn’t violent or anything,” said Sgt. Al DiMarco of the Suffolk County Police Department. “He was just very sure the bathroom wall was hiding another realm. We told him it was hiding plumbing.”

Friends say Feldman has always been “a little dramatic,” noting that he once spent three days convinced his Honda Civic was haunted because the “Check Engine” light came on, but then mysteriously went off without costing him $500. Still, some admit his paranoia strikes a chord.

“I mean, he’s not totally wrong,” said neighbor and fellow commuter Theresa Mancuso. “Traffic, prices, politics... maybe we all are in the Upside Down. Only difference is, he’s out there looking for a way out, and I’m just trying to get to work before my boss dematerializes me. But, ya know, I'm keeping my eye on him just in case he finds a way out.”

For now, Feldman says he plans to continue searching for an exit—possibly through a “weirdly humming” door behind the Carvel on Montauk Highway. “If that turns out to just be the freezer,” he said, “then I guess I’ll try the one at Ross Dress For Less. That place houses many mysteries.”

For now, Feldman says he plans to continue searching for an exit, though lately he suspects the Long Island Expressway might be one. “I was going to Lowe's to buy more string lights, ya know, to pretty-up the darkness some,” he said, “and I got distracted and missed my exit... time loses meaning on the Expressway. You drive, and drive, and somehow you’re still in Hicksville. But at least it's quiet out there.”

Editor’s Note: At press time, Feldman was last seen stringing Christmas lights along his roof while muttering, “Show me the signal, Joyce.” His wife reported that while there was still no portal, “at least the house finally looks festive.”